I LOVE SHOPPING!!!

This is an activity I used to dread! I had to generally walk past all the really cute clothes to get to the Plus-size ('fatty-size', 'queen-size', 'big girl-size, etc) department, where the clothes there left a LOT to be desired. Mostly 'grandma' styles! Nothing ever fit really well, and I never felt very pretty in any of my things. I pretty much wore tents, 'cause that's pretty much all that fit! I was pushing a size 30 at my heaviest! O. M. G!!!!!! That still blows my mind when I really stop to think about it! Some friends of mine at Weight Watchers now call the W that goes behind the size a 'wide'!

I went up to the North Georgia Premium Outlets with my daughter, Anna, the other evening and we gathered up probably 25 or so dresses for me to try on! They were all a size 16 (misses, not 'wide'!) and each and every one FIT ME!!! I was never so excited to be trying on dresses as I was that night! I truly liked how I looked in almost everything! And the ones I really didn't like were because of the style, NOT because I was fat! And Anna could really be honest in her opinions, because anything she said didn't hurt my feelings! I picked two dresses to purchase, and they should be good for a few months, until I go down another size! Yay, me!!!

When we got home, it got me thinking about other things that have changed from my fat days! I can now fit in my car without the steering wheel hitting me in the gut, and at restaurants we can sit in booths because I can fit behind the table and it doesn't even touch my belly! I can wrap a bath towel ALL the way around me and it actually crosses over and I can tuck in the top! I can get in and out of the shower without my hips touching either side of the shower door! And at the gym and hair salon, I can use a robe and it crosses over and I can use the tie belt! Let me tell you, it's all about the little things, that add up to make an enormous difference in my life!! So what small accomplishments have you had in your life lately? Trust me, once you sit down and actually list them, you are going to feel like a ROCKSTAR!! I know I certainly do!!!!

Why do I do this to myself!!! And other self-loathing comments!!

We all do it. Say hateful things, to ourselves. Would we say these things to our family or friends? Definitely not!! So why say them to ourselves? I wish I had the answer to this. Lately I have found myself binging on sweets and other carbs. I really don't know why. Do I think I'll never have another sweet for the rest of my life? That's how I'm approaching it!! Why? Why can't stop? Why am doing this to myself? I am working so hard to become the healthy person I need to be, and I am sabotaging all my good efforts! I am such a failure!! I am such a hypocrite! How can I suggest to others how to get fit and eat healthy, when I'm not? What is wrong with me? I want to do the right thing for myself, I want to be around for my family and future grandbabies! Then I find myself going down this dark path away from my goals! Maybe I need a professional to talk to; to find out what the motive is behind this? Has anyone else been here?

Every morning I try to give myself positive affirmations, tell myself I will make it through this one day making healthy choices for myself! And I do pretty good, then comes evening, and I seem to shut down! What's that all about? Why can't I have the control to NOT shove this crap in my mouth like there's no tomorrow? Sorry for the rambling, but I hoped putting everything out there would help me come up with an answer. I'm open for suggestions, too!

One thing that I am still doing is working out. At least I still have that going in the right direction! And this is one habit I pray will never leave. I still have goals for this part of my healthy lifestyle! I have signed up for the Susan G. Komen 3-Day, I AM going to do my next triathlon in June, and I am seriously considering going to Kennesaw State in the fall to get my Personal Trainer Certification! I REALLY WANT THIS!!!

So...here's to a glorious new day of making good choices! I know I CAN do this! And so can you!!